CHOOSING GOD'S PERSPECTIVE

To be honest, I never thought adoption was for me.  Don’t get me wrong.  I always believed it was a wonderful thing.  I enjoyed helping other families who were going through the process of adopting and I certainly loved getting to know the children they adopted.  

I just didn’t feel like it was a calling for me. 

But, then there was my wife (the beautiful Mrs. H) who felt adoption was always something she wanted to do.  It was on her heart at a very young age.  

I remember in our first year of marriage, when she brought up adoption.  We knew we wanted biological children.  I wasn’t super receptive to the idea of adopting.  I thought we could do our part by sponsoring a child (I’m not knocking this idea – reputable child sponsorship programs/organizations do a lot of good).  

 If I would have been honest, all of the reasons why I wasn’t willing to adopt were based on fears and selfishness (I’ll expand on this later).  We sort of left it at, if we do adopt, it would be after we were done having biological children.   Two years later we had our first, G. 

 

It’s not very often that you get to experience a new feeling at the age of 24, but that’s exactly what happened when I first laid eyes on G.  I absolutely loved being a dad.  And I loved watching Lib be a mom.  It seemed so natural for her.  

And on top of motherhood being a natural gift, she worked hard at it.  

She was intentional about teaching and making quality time happen (she still does).  It was a blessing to watch and be a part of.  13 months after G was born, we decided to start trying for another child.  2 days later, we found out that Lib was pregnant.  And 8 months later, we were holding a beautiful little girl, Q.   

 

 

As much as having G changed my world, having a baby girl did the same all over again.  Fathers with little girls, you know what I mean. 

By the time G was 3 and a half and Q was almost 2, we decided to begin trying for another child.  As quickly as God blessed us with our first two children, we did not expect any problems as we tried for a third.  After 6 months of trying with no success, we started to worry.  After a year, we knew there was something different.  

After a year and a half, Lib was emotional drained; 18 months of believing that this could be the month, only to find out it wasn’t, had taken its toll. 

 Throughout this whole time, I tried to stay positive.   The days that followed each negative pregnancy test were very tough.  It’s pretty evident that God wired men and women differently.  Not one better than another, just different.  For example, part of the way God has wired us as men includes what I call the “Fix-it Mentality”.  Tell us a problem and we’ll try and fix it.  So many times I would get myself in trouble.  As Lib was crying I would suggest solutions or try words of encouragement.  It took me a long time to realize that this wasn’t what she was looking for.  

She just needed my comfort.  

Why do I bring all of this up?  Because I am beginning to see the richness of God’s comfort.   

Earlier I mentioned that my reasons for not adopting were based on my own selfishness and fear.   I knew that adoption was expensive.  I knew that it would take a great deal of sacrifice.  I thought about dealing with the emotional struggles that adoptive children may have.  I went as far as thinking about the implications that adoption would have on my children’s inheritance.  All of this was self-focused, faithless, and weak.  

A few months ago, it hit me.  “Could you imagine if God would have this same perspective?”  Thank goodness He doesn’t . . .

“In Love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.  In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us” – Ephesians 1:5-8

My adoption as a child of God cost Him more than I could ever offer.  Any sacrifice on my part pales in comparison to His sacrifice.  He deals with the emotional struggles that I have, by addressing my doubt and reminding me that I have been given a new identity as His child.  He has lavished an inheritance upon me that is better than I could ever imagine (don’t just take my word for it – check out  1 Corinthians 2:9).  

God comforts me by reminding me, that this is not about me.  It is about Him.  What a great opportunity adoption is to reflect what He has done for us. And I pray that this will be all for His glory and not our own.

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